Silly Member Stories

Dave Visits Orlando -- Eventually. part 1
by Dave Goudsward

You'll probably hear my teeth grinding by the time I finish recalling this.

Trip to Orlando - Harrisburg International Airport has one direct flight per week, US Air at 8:30 AM Saturday morning. Because my wife is insane from years of traveling with her mother, we arrive at the airport at 6:30 AM. We check the luggage, get our boarding passes and head into the holding area. Outside the windows, the runways, there is nothing to be seen in the fog - zero visibility. I ask USAir clerk #1 about possible delays. "Oh no problem - it's always a little foggy in the morning. We're next to the river."

About 8:20: The announcement I knew was coming: "The flight will be delayed because of current weather conditions." Meanwhile, I notice other airlines taking off on schedule/minimal delays. I ask USAir clerk #1 (hereafter referred to as "TBI" - the blonde idiot) about this observation. "Those are smaller planes -Our safety standards are much more strict." USAir clerk #2 notes my query and The Blonde Idiot's response. Four minutes later, USAir clerk #2 (hereafter referred to as "TSBB" -The Slightly Brighter Blonde"), gets on the loudspeaker and announces" Some of you may have noticed that there are flights taking off. This is because they were already here on the ground. It's not too foggy to take off, it's just too foggy to land. And USAir doesn't keep any airplanes here at Harrisburg. Your flight is circling overhead waiting for the fog to lift. We now are now listing this flight as delayed until 10:30. Any later than that the plane will need to head back to Pittsburgh for fuel."

So we call Tiffany Towncar and advise them of the changed itinerary. We then called Port Orleans and advised them of the delay. Then we wait until 10:30. Then 11:30 Then at 12:30, TBI and TSBB come out of their hiding place and announce that the flight has been canceled, but that other arrangements have been made. Everyone will be taken by bus to Dulles, where the weather is good. The trip will take about 45 minutes. Arrangements are being made as we speak. However, everyone will need to check in again at this counter.

Since we're not going anywhere until the line is processed, so I sit quietly and wait for the line to go away. Meanwhile, my wife points out that you can't get to BWI in 45 minutes, never mind Dulles. 45 minutes later, the line is down to 5-6 people, so I get in line. TBI takes our boarding passes and puts two more hash marks on a sheet of paper. TSBB looks down and asks "What this over here?" TBI replies "Of, that's were I started counting before and got screwed it up. You can throw it away."

We are informed that the buses are on their way, and to please go and claim your luggage and wait outside. A USAir representative will assist you with the transportation outside the building. I update my wife. They've screwed up the passenger count, just like they misjudged the travel time. You go claim the suitcase, I'll take the carry ons and grab a seat on the bus.

The time is 1:30 PM. I have been on vacation for 7 hours and have yet to leave Harrisburg. Just then, the bus (singular -as opposed to "the buses" plural) arrives in front of 90 angry passengers and zero USAir staff.

To be continued...
Read Part 2

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